Soul in the Shadows
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 5:48 AM 」
my my...im kinda sick of tis JC life alreadi...is realli too many activities for me to handle..nowadays,i hv been lagging bhind in homeworks...owing teachers hw is realli a burden in my heart,but no choice,many things in class i gotta handle...reason being?if i dun do it,whos gonan do it?in the end,when it is undone,the blame gets pushed around over and over again...seeing it for 4 yrs is sickening alreadi...i dun wan it to repeat...reason im writing tis entry is not bcos i am free now...there r still work i nid to do...however,given the phd i suffered tis 2 weeks,im metally unfit to do a decent hw tat i realli concentrate...is veri tiring...since the conditioning started,i hv downed myself with too much water due to extreme thirst and puked it out again...damn it..smth is wrong with me...either not enouf sleep or my body being weak now...mr tay said i shud b more careful due to my health condition...but given my condition here,where i may juz drop dead anytime,anywhere...i dun give a damn...dying now and dying 60 yrs later,i rather go now...less sufferings...aiz watever...

juz tis thing tat disturbs me...y izzit tat 1t30 is not able to b like 1t17(JAE)...i noe i may sound like a brag and stuff,mayb there even b words going on bout me bhind me...watever it is,juz tis thing i kinda wanna voice out..the class aint as cohesive as 1t17...reason being?
1)personal interest overruns everything else..is like,there is no push to stay together as a class..no aim,no such tinking as "1 die all die"...no tots on others at all...how can a class be united if we juz go our own pace,get our A level results den 4got bout each other,den wats thte pt of tis home class system?might as well as reduce bak to other JC's constant classroom changing system...if we are not willing to share the time needed to do smth,den there will b some tat work their ass off to keep up with studies while some got lotsa time to excel...in 1t17,we share every effort,so the workload actually is lesser...more time to study also,we move forward tgr...
2)is juz the different characters of our classmates...many aint exactly sensitive towards the feelings of others...wat we say,wat we do,how many are actually in response to each other or are careful to consider their bakground and stuff?how many times hv we panicked as some1 lost smth or attempted to help them?from wat i observe,we dun realli care wat happens to them...so long as we ourselves are not affected,we juz do our own things...tis way we treat others,how to b cohesive?even i find tat SAV aint like last time...now,we definitely are wayyyy more evil...even in 1t17 outing,can see tat they did hurt some1..the last time i rmb is tat shane shoot lisa...supposedly play play onli,but can see tat she was kinda hurt...i aint tat noob at eye reading..

well....tats bout all...more to come..