「 The Soul Has Spoken. 6:34 AM 」

nth to blog about though...mental block now...fallen to the influenza virus,and feeling damn weak now..whole body aching,and i cant even type properly...damn it...got ptm tml...im sure both the teachers r gonna complain so much and try their best to trample me to the ground...if not,wat is the point of the ptm rite?

suddenly,i juz feel tat life is veri bleak...now tat i am a work machine,there juz seems to be nothing tat propels me forward...its juz work to catch up on teachers' demand without any purpose and stuff...its veri taxing and stuff...indeed,i hv been degenerating physically and mentally alreadi...some may say tat like tat,i will not be suiting to go jc,and shud juz drop to poly,but i feel its a veri bad counter of one's abilities...i know tat i can do much more...

and tat Vance have been going around saying hu i like...damn tat stupid bird brain,damn tat big head small body astroboi^^ :P . comon,she is too good for me in any considerations, so its rather illegal to even tink bout her...trust tat peepeebirdpokboi to say liddat...lolz...

tats bout it...gonna go rest now...next timez

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 5:54 AM 」

today is a day of verbal fire,verbal arrows and the clattering of verbal swords and shields...The verbal battle begun at the once safe room of LT5,where the interact meeting is held...

The spark is the funding for the mongolian kid...when we were told tat we were to pay $5 for the mongol kid,we were mystefied as we had paid $5 alreadi for club fund...on further probing and questioning, it is said tat the $5 had been used for the mongol kid...den shane felt cheated as we were told tat the money was used to pay for the club's activity...den asked rommel to come and tok...den it became certain tat every1 hu joined interact hv to pay for the mongol kid...ok,shane dun like tis involuntary part as he didnt agree to funding the mongol kid in the first place,bx dun like as the compulsory payment defeats the meaning of community service, and i dun like as we nid to incur a debt,thus it is like a failing business...andrew ar...his arguments like a mixture between bx and shane's,i dunno where is his stand...LOLZ...den it became a full blown crossfire where it is obvious rommel cant win...i experienced it b4,so i noe...den i try to help summarise wat they r saying,den he go down,take the mike and shoot me verbally...ok lor...den when it seems like we cant get our msg across,the teacher stepped in...i dunno his name,but he seems to be the silent killer...when he toks,the exco all silent...wat does tis tell me?the chair and vice nids some1 with rank higher den them den they will listen...the rest of us juz like inferior beings to them...rommel even said tat we muz do wat they say....its like,wao,we nid to be blindgoats led by blind sheeps...i dun like tat,we i feel humans hv higher intelligience den tat...

I feel tat tis episode shows the talent SAB hv..they are veri sharp if they wan to...they can even catch and dig up all the crap tat is hidden by the previous exco...its like,sg nids sharp ppl like them manz...shane is gd at seeing flaws,andrew gd at supporting,bx can talk so well,1 line makes ppl quiet...i like their style...

hmm im certain...we 4 r on ircahn's and rommel's shitlist...

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 9:22 AM 」

tis is kinda lame and time wasting...rosel tagged me,and i guess i am inclined to do tis thing since bx done his too...aint gonna b fair if i dun...

7 random things bout me
-im a guy,and i guy i am
-when im tired,i degenerate physically first,den mentally
-i tink bout *her* 24/7,even now as i am typing
-its hard to make me pissed,harder to make me damn angry,and hardest to make me violent
-the first person i put on a loaded pistol is me
-i prefer the nature than the concrete jungle
-lastly,weak as i am,weak i dun wan

7 things tat scares me
-nothing
-nothing
-nothing
-nothing
-nothing
-nothing
-nothing

7 random songs at the moment
-hamangyeon(alessandro safina)
-heart of sword
-1/3 no junjo na kanjo
-open up your mind
-end of life(X-japan)
-1 love(blue)
-your beautiful(james burtton)*watever the spelling*

7 things i like most*tis is stupid as most=1 thing onli...so i shall say the 1 i hv in my mind*
-her
-her
-her
-her
-her
-her
-her

7 people to do tis
-me
-me
-me
-me
-me
-me
-me


too bad,tis hv to end wif me^^ i wouldn wan ppl to waste their time too

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:51 AM 」

hmmm...nothing big tat happened around...thou shalt not speak bad of one in their back...so,leaves me nothing to put up...however,i do feel tat the class still is segregated...reasons actually hv been posted quite way back in the entries,so...still lazy to dig them out...and...i tink i got some PW-phobia liao...its not bout the consistent work tat makes me sianed,but the amount of work we muz do to survive the evaluation of janice....in a sense,SHE is the marker of the A levels pw alreadi...damn it....how is one able to study with such crap in mind?im veri tired mentally...realli tired...

3 possibilities-she noes and is avoiding me, she dunno,yet find me irritating,or im juz wrong in tinking so much?wat to do?her image stays wif me even when she is not around...indeed...

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:26 AM 」

hmmm....wonder wat is wrong with me...i seem to be overly affected by tis...case...i kinda tink i hv no hope for it,and tat i shud juz...give up..but after hearing wat a trusted friend of mine,who noes the person too,said,i tink tat mayb,i can juz be natural,but tis time,without putting significant hope tat she will...well...accept me...come to tink bout it,at the start,i do tink i have been over-confident...i...tot tat tis time,i can make it...but...now...i kinda REMEMBER...i am but an inferior human being...whos genes aint suitable to be passed down...though resigned to such fate...i still tink...i would keep on fighting...SY,i tink u r correct...thanks for the help in even listening...

i..am..but a weakling,aint i...XC,do pardon my weakness,which is in fact,my strength...weakness in being immune to feelings=strength in being able to feel wat others feel...tis is...my life i guess...

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:44 AM 」

nth to write...juz asking yg to revamp my blog...hope he suceed in the scripting....

right now...i guess ill juz let the feelings well up in me...lets not let it out and feel the PAIN,shall we?

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 5:58 AM 」

been quite a long yet tiring day actually today...hv lessons which made me feel as if time would never pass...been quite low power today as...well,still got no power...onli tat after doing pe,i feel good...its like i hv not exercised for quite some time,and turning bak,i feel weaker...so the 3 rounds kinda warmed me up...and the amount of pull ups i can do is damn little...5 onli...damn it,i muz do bak 10 again...><

feel kinda...sianed tis few days...ever since i decided to let her go on the account tat she is taken, life has been quite a bore...i..juz feel like im floating...no solid ground to touch...but i guess,tis is life?the gd gals gets the bad guys and the bad gals takes the gd guys..though i dunno if the guy she is wif is gd or bad,i juz hope she stays happy after all...ahhhh nth more alreadi...ill juz go lie on bed and feel the emptiness anywayz...

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 3:03 AM 」

damn it...im in quite a bad mood now...1 thing is tat janice scolded us during pw...her reasons r tat we hv not done anything for the june holidays and we nid to hand in the written report during next monday...tinking back,i feel tat it is MY fault for slacking during the june holidays...however,i had tot bout pw b4 the june holidays...3 out of us 5 had to prepare for the thailand trip,and time was quite packed...also,i feel tat for the first week,i shud let every1 chill a lil...im not a workaholic,nor am i a slave driver,so,a rest is needed...den after the trip,there is a frantic rush to make do with the time to study for the mid yrs...i feel tat the mid yrs are more important than the proj,so i did not bring up the proj matter...after the mid yrs,the rush is over,so i tot letting every1 rest would b gd...the onli thing i didnt forsaw was,the damn eom and written report nids to b sumitted so fast...tis is totally my fault...i do nid to apologise for it...but the thing i dislike is the way she scolded us...scolding is a way to let us learn,but wat she says is total bullshit...it helps at nothing at all...den later,she avoided us and were staring at us from far...disappointment i guess...however,i still dislike her way...its pointless...moreover,i didn ask to push bak the time to hand in the written report,yet she was like,"i dun care,u better hand in the written report on monday"...screw it la...

other den tat,there realli is nth much...hmmm nowadays,the guys seem kinda corrupted in a sense...mayb the exam stress has been getting on or smth...i juz cant stop laughing...hahaz...once in a while is ok...but,izzit too much for now?hmmm...can onli wonder...meanwhile,ill juz laugh on and live on...

pif...let me bang my head into the wall and 4get all these?

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:06 AM 」

hmmm...started out as a bright and sunny day?wayyyy too sunny...keep nodding off during the last 2 lessons due to heatburn...got bak the results and stuff,go thru the mid yr papers and stuff...rather boring a day...i feel physically weak...i seemed to hv pulled a nerve in my arm or smth...veri pain when i apply strength...other than tat,its realli nothing up today

onli when i give it up den will she b truely happy?ahhhh..damn...i juz nid to force myself...

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:31 AM 」

hmmm...nth much today...normal skool day,stupid weather tat heat-burns me bout...even in the bio lecture,the moment mr ho starts toking,i yawn,and falls asleep...the moment he stops toking,i wake up...amazing lullaby of his...khao lak team meeting wasnt as effective as i tot it would b...but still,got the ball rolling..its onli a matter of time b4 the proj goes full fledge...thanks to the support i got from the team^^

hmmmm nowadays,i juz got some kinda syndrome...no-energy syndrome...i kinda hv no power to study....so sick of the information eating cycle...and somemore,i cannot take the power booster(onli i noe hu:P)...not right to do so...oh well..guess there is nothing more to say...laterz..

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 6:31 AM 」

today aint too bad a day...wake up feeling gd,and reach skool in 1 piece...lessons today are nothing much...tis like i lack the interest in studying now...lessons end with pe being the last period...wao...first time i seen so many casualties since i come cj...jenna fell while doing the grand stand torture and had a big patch of shit on the leg...looking at it,was quite bad...i didnt tell her tat the blue black is due to the internal rupture of veins and capillaries which caused the blood to leak and flow out into the surrounding tissues...she will cry when she hears it...shane and dalvin puked due to overworking themselves...i dunno how it happened,but they disappeared b4 the guys managed to evacuate jenna...jenna was in so much pain when jolene and i put the ice pack on her *baluku* on the right leg:P ...she onli managed to take the pain for 6 minutes b4 giving up...i tot it would b of a limited effect,but the blue-black patch had disappeared and all was left was the scratches and a lil bump...wao!!first casualty i treated tat had blue-black disappear so fast...i tink her blood flow is 1 mile per hr or smth...after tat,when she stood up,she still dare not walk...she can stand with most of her weight on her left leg,but tat wouldn do...she was stuck for 10mins b4 the guys decided to evacuate her on a chair...took some time,with some difficulties on my part(strength lv was at 20%,and my palm keep slipping off as i was not used to bx's front-bak positions)...sit around till her father came to pick her up...but by den,shane and dalvin had disappeared...they r strong ppl...i dun worry bout them puking..unless they faint or smth...

its kinda boring...i wanna sit around and watch my surroundings...peaceful life,but cannot...cos gotta rush the eom...gd thing i did most of the eom ytd,so today,after some refining,i decided to call it done...oh well...i am too tired mentally to do much...moreover,i got no powerup(bah,onli i noe who),so,cant do anything well>< ...heart still wif her,but i am going to suppress it..damn hard,but it shall be done,or she may not b happy if she noes it...

bout all for today...do drop a bomb on the tagboard or smth..

「 The Soul Has Spoken. 6:09 AM 」

hmmm been quite some time since i blogged,thus i tink i shud add a new post...not out of pity,not out of boredom,but its juz cos i feel like it...tis 1 is gonna b a long 1,so read on if u feel like it...no forcing

its juz after the mid yr exam,and being after the exam,definitely i will switch off my engines for awhile...i hv been dotaing for quite some time alreadi,and even so,i still am kinda sick...not physically,but mentally....exam has been bugging me so much i got tis phobia of it since after the o levels...the tot of it makes me sick to the core...all the competition,all the rush,all the knowledge eating...when i stop and take a look around,i learn more den wat the skool teach...and,there are juz so many beautiful things around tat i missed when i rush...given all the pressures around me,i juz hate it...since pri skool,i hv been challenged by other ppl in results...so many ppl compare wif me...when my mother made me study to win them,it is like,so hard given the conditions...last time,i was not mentally prepared to take up real challenges,and i juz wasnt mature enouf to fight it out...den,when sec 3 yr end,i began to ace my subjects...my 3 sciences will juz get A1s...but,it will juz not be gd enouf...the standard is juz not chosen by me...soon,i was expected to score straight As,which is hella impossible...den,i fell during the o levels...i guessed i overloaded during the prelims,and post prelims,i couldn take it...was too hard...imagine the headache so much u nid to bang the wall,hoping to release juz a lil bit...

how i see my surroundings,does not depends on how they show it...it purely depends on how i interpret it...so far,wat i see is the darkness,with a lil bit of light...the society generally is so sickening...most of the ppl tink juz of themselves...watever is done,there muz b a confirmed benefit..i can imagine how every1 is like......tis is wat i see...i hope to part take in tis race by sitting at the foot of the mountain,watching them fall down 1 by 1...i juz hate to kick ppl down so tat i can rise up...it juz feels wrong...

after the bio paper on friday,i sat down at a back alley bhind the mount faber safra and enjoy the nite air and relax...look around,i see nature...it feels so damn gd...its like,i got refreshed alreadi...after tat,go solowalk in mount faber,its like so refreshing...allows me to tink of so many stuff...past,present and future...hence tis long,crappy entry...

nothing more to say...i feel kinda soulless rite now...its like,my life got no aim...y?cos...haiz,its a blardy long story,but it juz makes me so empty within...