Soul in the Shadows
Friday, September 01, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:41 AM 」
not too bad a day...bright and sunny,gd for a sentoso outing...went to celebrate denise's birthday in sentosa...go for a dip in the sea and stuff,dinner,bx,joan and i went play pool at safra...so summarized...but writing long for a day is juz not my type...

during the dip in the sea,i experienced near-death situation...i almost drowned...hahaz wanted to swim to the other shore,which was actually not far...however,when i was halfway in the middle,i suddenly lost the strength to go forward...i dunno y,but every kick forward does not propel me,but instead i sank...and trapping water does not work for me either...i still sank..den the lifeguard nids to swim towards me to get me outta water...aiz,so paiseh,but tat is not the main point here...the main point is,i am weaker den the weak me...i dunno if it is my deteriorating heart or wat,but entering an environment tat i am not familiar wif,i guess i cant survive...

after the episode,when bx and joan left,i sat down and tot...y did i,at tat instant,want to live on instead of juz letting myself go?the answer is,life,no matter how lousy,is still worth living...it was my instinct to survive,to fight tat i struggled...at the instant where i was in the water,when i lost the strength,ur image actually flashed in my mind...the fact tat i still want to see u,the fact tat i still find my life of value,the fact tat i would not die in such a useless fashion to mankind,made me wanna live on...tis is all it is about...strangely,i hv no phobia of swimming,nor am i afraid to go bak for another try in the water...but,i juz nid to relearn my swimming skills and retrain my strength...i dun wanna be a total weakling in the waters...

sunburnt and learnt my lesson,i tink tat today wasnt too bad a day...however,at intervals where i had time to relax and look around,like say,in the waters,i still miss u...yupyupz...

--------A loser stamp on my forehead--------