Soul in the Shadows: October 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 3:46 AM 」
bullshit- tats all i can say if some1 ask me wat i feel now...hmmm things ARE crappy...ok,no problems regarding the promotional criteria for J2...lets tink bout OTHER things in life...lets see...recently i juz see 1 thing,and tis topic connects to the previous entry too...in a way..Taken for granted- what is it?to me,it is when 1 person do things tat benefits others,yet do it in the silent manner,and every1 else takes it tat it is HIS duty to do so...so in a sense,no 1 actually gives a damn if he suffers cos of others, but complains if he does not do the work?tis,in a sense,would mean tat he works for others,yet is invisible to them...when the workload increase(mayb not,but the pressure in the mind does),he definitely will feel increasingly disgrunted..therefore,tis disgrunted person is typing tis disgrunted entry(not cos he is a grunt)...

today?1 thing tat caught my attention is tat we did tis feedback for the entire class(including the teachers) where we write "love letters" and give to others...ok...so off i go,writing in the 30mins tat was given...i cannot say tat i hv been totally frank in wat i wrote to a small percentage,yet i can say tat i was not totally fake in wat i wrote...so yeah,i doubt they will b angry,nor will they be happy...(they=veri small %)

and after all these...i realise...i dun at all hv a chance to be with u...reason being?we r of different levels..urs being higher,yet im juz a low down creature...as in,yeah,tis status feel i dunno how to explain...moreover,you like some1 else..ok,put it tis way,you need him...so,i guess,i cannot,and dun wan to disturb u...i guess i will watch over u,but i will not confess...though i still hope i would hv the chance to......

tats bout all...laterz


Thursday, October 12, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 9:28 AM 」
Love,or just plainly an object of amusement?

Some things tat i hv in mind here...so many ppl give many different types of reasons when u asked y they like a person...Some of which are,"Hes so funny he can make me laugh", "He is able to treat me well", "He can bring me happiness".....though they are of different variety, wat are their similarity? The view would b tat u go into something because the person provides wat YOU want...means to say,u go into a relationship for a gain...now to tink of it,is tis truely love, or just plain personal benefits?

Another thing...smth tat sickens me is tat y is it tat quite a few(not many,but i do noe of some) gals tat,truefully,looks like a piece of unwanted garbage with no quality or watsoever,yet comments on those tat are widely recognised as hving a certain quality? Looks are 1 thing gals comment widely about...like,a kinda lousy looking+lousy character gal comments tat some models looks liek shit,when it is the reverse?it makes me pukes to tink tat they feel tat they themselves are perfect...some even indulge in rather gd looking artistes or stars, and me imagining them(gal+gd looking guy) tgr, sickens me to the core?

tats tis pt...sometimes,i gets realli sickened..even worst than when the person hu irritates so many ppl plays bowling


Tuesday, October 10, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:27 AM 」
so many things in my head,so many irritants out there,so much noise,so much deadlines,so much problems tat i do realli wanna drop everything(including my consciousness)

is like,spent the whole afternoon at the esplanade wif the guys(yes,jeremy also) and some of the class gals...actually,most. ok. den we walk around,played bowling,den go sit around the esplanade playing truth or dare(in the end,onli truth-_-)...hahaz the qns they ask,make me tink bout her...hahaz..wat class,everything...its like,the paparazzi is always the few ppl?hahaz...i said the truth when it got to me,but,i am always able to divert...set in confusion so tat ppl can NEVER guess....pro,aint i?:P

den later at nite,i freaking wasted the whole of the nite...my mother nid go dentist,den i nid follow...like say,sat there 2 hrs watching the tv there?damn it...felt like i hv wasted so much time of my life...after the appointment,my mother told me wat she saw and heard inside the room...there is a male and female doctor,and a nurse...the male doctor seemed to b the head doctor,and kept on scolding the female doctor?is like he pms like tat,den throw scissors,drop on floor,the female doctor pick up...everything also scold...the female doctor?guai guai do watever he say...but the male treat the nurse veri nicely...from general knowledge,can see tat the female doctor would b the male doctor's wife?tats the problem...the female doctor is veri nice towards any1,patients or children...but,how the hell did she end up wif such an idiot for a husband?tats the reason y i put tis up...how can gd gals end up wif lousy guys?or vice versa?it has gotto do wif opposite poles attracting?or is it tat ppl realli are borned to suffer?like me?hmmm...such problems in life are realli realli irritating...

another thing is,i do feel my chance is near zero after all?or shud i even ask for a chance?like the qn joan popped in to me juz now,makes me tink,shud i even do it?i did say b4,i will no go bak my words,but will it cause more harm den good?after all,i did try not saying anything,but,it definitely didnt work...i wonder if it is cos i dun hv smth called 'tao hua yun'(lady's luck)?in a simpler sense,my face puts off gals?LOLZ its not tat i care so much,but if it does,tat alone can b an answer to the qn i hv in mind all along...

digressing bak to irritants,i hv a rather huge irritant wif me...its like,bugger,everything also cannot...i realli feel like going down and punch tat bugger in the face(realli,i almost punched the screen at the tot of the bugger)...damn it,i am DAMN unlucky to meet tat bugger...another word from tat moronic bugger,my wrath will b the bugger's end...

hmmm...to tink of it,seems like being guys in the society now are actually worst off den gals?in terms of social position,males seem to b inferior to the females?liek say,they hv tis 'protective aura' around them due to the presense of their 'bornhardts',and tat everything also throw to guys...i DO hv a soft spot for females,mind u...at least i dun anyhow whack them like i do to bx-_-...but den again,some do realli climb over my head...i dun wanna look up and see them zao geng,but i would rather PULL their legs down and kick them off my shoulders...even when gals fall in love and they decide to confess,the success rate is near 100%(statistics from friends)...of course,the comment made was to refer to those tat realli do tat...so gals,if u read tis,tink about how u treat guys...u noe it in ur heart if u do ill-treat guys...if u do,den tis paragraph refers to u:P ...sometimes,i feel tat guys are softer den gals...the reason gals are able to gain position and status in the society is cos guys permits them to...y do guys permits them to?of course it is cos guys are able to put themselves in the shoes of others,thus allowing tis global change...of course,there will always b guys are realli suck(no doubt),and they can b burnt on the stake...otherwise,do try to b more humane to guys?:P

tats bout all tat i hv in my mind tat i can put down...laterz


Sunday, October 08, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 6:38 AM 」
GP is a double edged sword,no?

personal opinion,gp teaches us to evaluate,to question essays and compos,to tink critically and analycally. therefore, to question others,to tink how to get at someone,to plan ulterior motives,these skills gotto originate from the use of gp skills...however,to tink of it,how do we protect ourselves from such scheming minds,so as to ensure our survival,the survival of our loved ones?it is also the use of GP skills...as it is said,to counter poison with poison. therefore,by outscheming the bad,we can ensure tat they be removed from the face of the earth and protect those around us. so,gp skills are like a sword. it can b a sword to protect,or a sword to kill. it all depends on the user...now,how to prevent the user from misusing gp skills?it has to do with his genetic makeup...there is no way to prevent it.

diverting from it, is it true tat i am more impatient now..more heated,more agressive...reason being?i dunno...i sense tat my own 'xin huo' is high now...i guess tat i must cool it down...hmmm..tat could b my weakness...oh well


Tuesday, October 03, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 9:04 AM 」
hmmm updated my links...BET u some purple stalker will go and stalk them...but,since when does not linking ppl stop the stalker from stalking ppl?if i can find all the links?lolz...interestingly,i mix up all my friend's blog around...so much tat its messy enouf...so tat no 1 will come tell me,'eh xc,y my name not first,i so not important ar'....lolz doubt any1 will though...


Monday, October 02, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:09 AM 」
just came back from a walk downstairs....y the sudden walk?

it has since become the shackle of my life...to do everything tat u told me to...i take it silently,not minding how irritating it is to take orders...orders tat i muz carry out no matter wat i am doing..being in my current position,i can never win in an open confrontation...age taught u more tricks than i can imagine...i just cannot blinding hand everything to u now,knowing tat ur judgements can b prejudiced and followed blindly...no,i try to b indirect,'let me go,it is time i am able to choose when to do wat'. but u still dun get it..u still sink into the dominating mood tat i muz submit into...i do not wan to do tat anymore...it takes the meaning out of life completely..juz as i do not make 1 submit to me,neither shalt i submit to any1 completely...

on the happier side,somehow talking to u does make me smile...the voice,the smile,it all juz bring me the happy side of life...in summary,u r my happy tree?:)

tats about all i guess...cooled down considerably since the walk...though it b quite a last resort,i feel it is better den sitting at home absorbing to it all...