Soul in the Shadows: November 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 7:42 AM 」
for some reason,i am out of sync with my body..abit like out-of-body-experience...has it gotto do wif the 3 mugs of baron strong i took in my fastest time?or has it gotto do with me playing comp whole day at home?nop,it has nth to do wif those...not boredom,not tipsy,wat is it?

it has to b the emptiness i feel,and though the source is known,1 shall simply keep to myself,though some ppl will juz try guessing and lesser gets the answer...but hey,i realised,i played pool alot tis few days O_O lolz though i still hv much to learn,i still feel sianed...especially when it comes to the new guy in safra...tat 30+ looking guy is like,first sight dun like me alreadi...wtf?i killed his family izzit?alreadi he had disturbed me 2 times,and though i dun tink i should,i feel like juz guai laning him...like,comon,the new rules alreadi constricted,and the woman's constant nagging everytime i go alreadi sux...wat more?the tables and cue stick are below normal,yet usable...thus it is not fantastic,so y do they still see me buay song like tat?moreover,i hv to get food and drinks like from the cafe,which has realli HIGH prices...last time vending machine,a can cost $1.20,now,gotto go and spend at least $4.50 on a drink...comon...so at least,give better service can?

lolz and i find tis rather funny:

person A:so if u hv confidence,you sure can succeed 1
me :aiz,i dunno...like sec 4 i alreadi tio rejected 2 times by same person liao
person A:ah?got fail b4 ar...oh,no wonder no confidence

lolz *laughing while typing* comon...i doubt if it is all bout confidence onli...if it is,i would b such a failure to look to hv no confidence when i hv...O_O


Monday, November 20, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 9:29 AM 」
tis entry is made wif a PAINED heart,a tormented soul,a critter to many...

Ill go straight to the pt...I realli hate tis sorta life...gonig on a out-of-body-experience trip and look back into my own soul,i see a pathetic,useless piece of shit tat is as gd as waste,and wasteful is his life...everyday,i see TONS of shitty things...black faces stares at me like plagues,even the smiles r of a deceitful quality...i noe ta MANY ppl look down on me..yeah,small,scrawny crap..look at my 4 limbs...they r all cuffed and chained...Chained where????chained to 1 person onli...so wats wif tat?im being PLAYED like a puppet...i hv no will of my own,tats wat basically makes me USELESS...totally...

Pathetic?ok,lemme try and see how i fare in various aspects of my life...studies?i gotto take pressure pulling up my scores...y?COMPARE COMPARE COMPARE!!!grrrr tats like me being played,used as a weapon for 'face'...ok,how bout the sector,affairs of the heart?nop,no success at all...not even CLOSE to it...how bout physique?as said,i am scrawny,damn it,i nid the wind to push me forward when i run eh(said by some1)...i cannot carry stuff eh,i cannot do tis,cannot do tat eh?fuck it,i rather DIE den b so pathetic...

In summary,i got onli 1 feeling now,and it can b expressed in tis line:sjigowengweuignyweb wweriuuuuugerhenjivhvbu t4qe2 (done wif half of my actual feeling,i cannot slam the keyboard or i will invoke a series of putting down...im TAT pathetic...cant even slam my own keyboard)


Thursday, November 16, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:52 AM 」
the holidays...do they realli bore me?not realli...i hv the comp,tats 1 thing,and unlike bx,hu finds it boring,i dun...ok,its harder to get bored for me^^...den again,wif shaun's comp up and now tat we can hv frequent dota games,its more interesting...and i haven start training for the clan match(wif doug's cousin team)...haven even picked hero yet if u ask me...i predict i get trashed,but yeah,we shall see if the internet happens not to lag...and once in a while,there will b bx hu comes all the way to harbourfront to bowl or pool,or doug,hu juz walk from his house to safra...mundane?hahaz relaxing...better den the pw days...definitely...

when i wake up in the morning,i realise tat i always seek wat i had yearn for--a comforting presense,a warm smile,the beautiful eyes,the soft long hair....basically...her...but yep,i see the 4 hard walls instead...makes me wonder,20 yrs later,and it be the same situation,wat would i do?i DEFINITELY wouldn degrade myself to geylang...hell no...charity perhaps?i dunno...

also,i realised i hv not exercised for a looooong loooong time alreadi...i am WAITING for mass pe next yr...like,bring it on...tough?i wouldn call myself a man if i cant take it...so yep,i am waiting to resume training...like i said,run when i still can...when 1 day i drop dead,at least i noe i lived doing 1 of the things i wan,and wouldn bring the regret to next life...

yupyup,bout all i hv,next timez


Friday, November 10, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:30 AM 」
lolz i got tis from the official dota website...most of u wouldn noe dota,may not b funny to ya...but,yeah,juz put it up(they didnt make it copyrighted,so yeah)...website is http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=57469

some of those tat i picked out:

Dear Abby,I am Tiny. Well actually, I'm not. I'm a giant. And sometimes I'm really big. But I'm always Tiny. Well this is hard to explain. Let's just say I'm Tiny and I'm not tiny.I have a very special body. You see, I have a magnetic core, which attracts to it a multitude of things. Like rocks. Mostly rocks. Rocks are my passion. I just can't go by without them.Anyways, I was going to bed one day, saying goodbye to all my rocks when I noticed that one of them had escaped. It was a very colorful piece of pyrite which I had named Shiny Bill. Ok, so I name my rocks, no big deal. So as I was roaming the countryside calling for Shiny Bill I saw him literally get devoured by a cow. Not only that, but due to the bond which my rocks and I have the rock, naturally, tried to escape its agressor and come to me, its loving father/mother/mountain. Well, now as I'm walking around I have a cow stuck to me. I can't sleep because it moos all night and all the other nonexistent stone giants make fun of me for it. The cow doesn't get along very well with all my other rocks too. This is a catastrophe. What can I do?-Hardly Cowed

Dear Abby,We've all heard of the atrocities of war, of the few survivors who recall pudge shooting his hook, missing, and accidently hooking the world tree back to the scourge base. Or when Crixalis burrowstrikes under the earth, hits a rockbed, and knocks himself out, triggering an earthquake which buries him in rock, dirt, and large amounts of hate from his allies.Well, I have been a victim of the worst scam in history. I was fighting this demon witch, and my suggestion of plastic surgery backfired when the ugly dranei shot me with a spell and turned me into frog. Remembering the rumors that frog legs are a delicacy in some countries I hopped away but she kept chasing. I turned back into my lovable self and immediately dopplewalked out of there, leaving an illusion behind me to distract the sorceror of unknown gender, race, and age that was chasing me.I decided to relax a little in the forest, chatting a little with Leragas the Vile (summer sales you know), before returning to the Sentinel base. There, I learned that my mirror image had returned before me, and had assumed my identity. Now everyone is convinced that I'm just some crazy phantom image, and that MY image is the real phantom lancer. Out of all the threats on the battlefield, I had never considered identity theft before.-Duplication gone wrong

Dear Abby,Life is harsh. So have many said to me, though usually from positions of power and comfort. After all what have they to lose?The life of a hero is no easy one for certain, but when they come down to market who is it who gets congratulated for all their work and actions, is it Luna or her chicken? People congratulate Pudge on a nice hook, but does anyone ever say “Good job chicken that delivered mana potion to Pudge so that he could later do that nice hook”? No!I have had enough of this discriminatory world. It's always, “chicken go there” or “chicken buy me that”, why never, “chicken, you stay here and fight and I'll run to fountain and buy you a dagon”?Well, that fat panda that always orders me around has just cut the last straw. I run in, find a double damage rune, activate it and run in to kill any heroes possibly in combat with my master. Do I get congratulated? NO! He actually scolds me because apparently, DD is only useful for endangered species!Well, I got my revenge. I've taken Mangix's dagon, and his helmet, and his refresher (did he need it, no!), and his necronomicon, and his soul booster. Now I stand poised to march on the capital and request status as an official hero. Already have I succeeded in massacring the opposition (two trolls and one wounded kobold) with minimal losses. Perhaps I shall even crown myself the Chicken King. It is time to even out the thousand years of opression.-Poultry Power!

Dear Abby, I have a problem with the Sentinel guys. I realize they keep shooting red bolts of lightning at our creeps. The bolts of lightning look strangely familiar to me and i now realize that that's my attack. My friend Terrorblade tells me that they are using some read headed staff called a dragon? I thought dragons are creatures that breathe fire! They can't possibly know more about lightning than me! Even Zeus is using the dragon. And that F*cking staff attacks better than me although I have a Divine Rapier, but it deals even more damage than my attacks. Please help me. I think I've been a victim of piracy!Lightning Revenant(lancer_inverse)

Dear Abby,I am the most powerful druid in the world and leader of all sentinels. My name is Furion. I might not be keeping my job too much longer though. I teleported back to base using my ability, but I chose the location using the minimap. So that maneuver has landed me in the women's locker room at the sentinel base. I saw Luna and Rylai naked, so naturally they assumed I'm a pervert and are suing me for sexual harassment. On top of that, Tyrande got wind of the incident and she says she wants a divorce. How do I get myself out fo this mess.-Did not look before I leapt...erm teleported(EverKnight)

Dear Abby,I feel unwanted by those I care about. They get so angry when I appear to chat with them, surprised by my sudden appearance out of thin air. Its not like I can help it! I was trained since a boy in the ways of assassination and stealth from the satyrs and its my second nature to be unseen. But now that thats got me with a group of allies I should be able to call friends, that same ability is making me become hated among my mates! When I fight, they complain that I killsteal with a perfectly timed blink when all I am trying to do is help out! Then when I do something so profoundly helpful to the team like use a smoke bomb (which I spend about 3 hours to make one), they dont even say anything! Not even appreciated! And when I use my ancient arts, they call it shameful! I didn't call the skill backstab! Why am I getting blamed for my heritage?Help me out here, Abby. Ever since Icefrog took away my ward which was my callcard nobody notices me anymore!I just feel so... invisible.-Invisible and Lonely, considering Manta Style for company(alterecho)


Thursday, November 09, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 9:50 AM 」
OMG OMG OMG PW IS OVER!?!?!??!?!?

lets see...the 9 month war is over,so has the need to meet deadlines,do wat is said to be correct and suffer nites of needing to use my brain...even now im not using my brain...im usnig my heart,so,yeah:P...bak to the topic,PW realli hv been a torture...with all the things i need to do,it was a burden in the heart...after OP,guess wat?the burden has been relieved!!!immediately after OP,i felt much lighter,tat im able to see things on a much lighter tone..the exhilaration serves to strengthen my feel tat pw is useless..so,TO HELL WITH TIS MODULE,AND IM NOT GONNA REDO THE PROJECT FOR A MILLION BUCKS!!

Going to the soft part of my life,nth had been going right for me(other den the 1t17 outing)...my OP wasnt tat successful,my luck realli has been down and i can basically feel the aura of...darkness blanket my heart...y is it so?is it punishment for me not keeping my promise?shud i do as said?these r qns i hv been struggling till now,and no,i dun hv an answer...ppl always said,'either u hv luck on gambling or luck of love life'...i HAD luck of gambling(not tat i always do,my luck is on things in my life),but my other section of luck fails completely...but now?when i decide to give it up,my luck turned downwards. significantly.now,seems like nth feels right...not even sleeping??so being personalised,can i say tat my luck on life depends entirely on my love life,thus without it,i am like,so nth?hmmm not tat i wanna b so dependent,but it seems like i cannot escape,my whole point of living.

looking at the time,it seems as if im doing pw-_-


Saturday, November 04, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:39 AM 」
ahhh...wat luck...today went out wif some of the 1t17 ppl,namely shane, andrew, sean, zac, kiat, audrey, sein yan, lisa, mei qi, sheryl, jocelyn, stella, amenda...yeah dun tink i missed out any1 out...i went early play pool wif shane,den later meet the others at far east...later go cine watch the covenant...frankly speaking, the movie wasnt realli nice...juz tat the main actor looked good(i admit it,not tat im gay-_-) and the main actress looked good too(i onli got 1 person tat realli looked good TO ME,so yeah)...den went cuppage again for another round of pool b4 dashing out to catch the last train home...

the best thing bout tis outing is not the movie,nor wat we do...is the feeling when all the 1t17 ppl are around...light,fun and staying in my comfy threshold...is the warmth,is the interaction and stuff...it is realli great!hmmm...if u ask me,it seems like today is a new injection of the 1t17 feel...i hv onli 1 word to describe the outing...yet the word says it all...'satisfying!'...lolz some may tink i over exaggerate,but yeah,tis is realli how i feel!

a pity most of us left so early...especially audrey...oh well,ppl got their own life too!

and zac said my blog is veri emo...guess tis would bring a lighter note^^