Soul in the Shadows
Friday, November 10, 2006
「 The Soul Has Spoken. 8:30 AM 」
lolz i got tis from the official dota website...most of u wouldn noe dota,may not b funny to ya...but,yeah,juz put it up(they didnt make it copyrighted,so yeah)...website is http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=57469

some of those tat i picked out:

Dear Abby,I am Tiny. Well actually, I'm not. I'm a giant. And sometimes I'm really big. But I'm always Tiny. Well this is hard to explain. Let's just say I'm Tiny and I'm not tiny.I have a very special body. You see, I have a magnetic core, which attracts to it a multitude of things. Like rocks. Mostly rocks. Rocks are my passion. I just can't go by without them.Anyways, I was going to bed one day, saying goodbye to all my rocks when I noticed that one of them had escaped. It was a very colorful piece of pyrite which I had named Shiny Bill. Ok, so I name my rocks, no big deal. So as I was roaming the countryside calling for Shiny Bill I saw him literally get devoured by a cow. Not only that, but due to the bond which my rocks and I have the rock, naturally, tried to escape its agressor and come to me, its loving father/mother/mountain. Well, now as I'm walking around I have a cow stuck to me. I can't sleep because it moos all night and all the other nonexistent stone giants make fun of me for it. The cow doesn't get along very well with all my other rocks too. This is a catastrophe. What can I do?-Hardly Cowed

Dear Abby,We've all heard of the atrocities of war, of the few survivors who recall pudge shooting his hook, missing, and accidently hooking the world tree back to the scourge base. Or when Crixalis burrowstrikes under the earth, hits a rockbed, and knocks himself out, triggering an earthquake which buries him in rock, dirt, and large amounts of hate from his allies.Well, I have been a victim of the worst scam in history. I was fighting this demon witch, and my suggestion of plastic surgery backfired when the ugly dranei shot me with a spell and turned me into frog. Remembering the rumors that frog legs are a delicacy in some countries I hopped away but she kept chasing. I turned back into my lovable self and immediately dopplewalked out of there, leaving an illusion behind me to distract the sorceror of unknown gender, race, and age that was chasing me.I decided to relax a little in the forest, chatting a little with Leragas the Vile (summer sales you know), before returning to the Sentinel base. There, I learned that my mirror image had returned before me, and had assumed my identity. Now everyone is convinced that I'm just some crazy phantom image, and that MY image is the real phantom lancer. Out of all the threats on the battlefield, I had never considered identity theft before.-Duplication gone wrong

Dear Abby,Life is harsh. So have many said to me, though usually from positions of power and comfort. After all what have they to lose?The life of a hero is no easy one for certain, but when they come down to market who is it who gets congratulated for all their work and actions, is it Luna or her chicken? People congratulate Pudge on a nice hook, but does anyone ever say “Good job chicken that delivered mana potion to Pudge so that he could later do that nice hook”? No!I have had enough of this discriminatory world. It's always, “chicken go there” or “chicken buy me that”, why never, “chicken, you stay here and fight and I'll run to fountain and buy you a dagon”?Well, that fat panda that always orders me around has just cut the last straw. I run in, find a double damage rune, activate it and run in to kill any heroes possibly in combat with my master. Do I get congratulated? NO! He actually scolds me because apparently, DD is only useful for endangered species!Well, I got my revenge. I've taken Mangix's dagon, and his helmet, and his refresher (did he need it, no!), and his necronomicon, and his soul booster. Now I stand poised to march on the capital and request status as an official hero. Already have I succeeded in massacring the opposition (two trolls and one wounded kobold) with minimal losses. Perhaps I shall even crown myself the Chicken King. It is time to even out the thousand years of opression.-Poultry Power!

Dear Abby, I have a problem with the Sentinel guys. I realize they keep shooting red bolts of lightning at our creeps. The bolts of lightning look strangely familiar to me and i now realize that that's my attack. My friend Terrorblade tells me that they are using some read headed staff called a dragon? I thought dragons are creatures that breathe fire! They can't possibly know more about lightning than me! Even Zeus is using the dragon. And that F*cking staff attacks better than me although I have a Divine Rapier, but it deals even more damage than my attacks. Please help me. I think I've been a victim of piracy!Lightning Revenant(lancer_inverse)

Dear Abby,I am the most powerful druid in the world and leader of all sentinels. My name is Furion. I might not be keeping my job too much longer though. I teleported back to base using my ability, but I chose the location using the minimap. So that maneuver has landed me in the women's locker room at the sentinel base. I saw Luna and Rylai naked, so naturally they assumed I'm a pervert and are suing me for sexual harassment. On top of that, Tyrande got wind of the incident and she says she wants a divorce. How do I get myself out fo this mess.-Did not look before I leapt...erm teleported(EverKnight)

Dear Abby,I feel unwanted by those I care about. They get so angry when I appear to chat with them, surprised by my sudden appearance out of thin air. Its not like I can help it! I was trained since a boy in the ways of assassination and stealth from the satyrs and its my second nature to be unseen. But now that thats got me with a group of allies I should be able to call friends, that same ability is making me become hated among my mates! When I fight, they complain that I killsteal with a perfectly timed blink when all I am trying to do is help out! Then when I do something so profoundly helpful to the team like use a smoke bomb (which I spend about 3 hours to make one), they dont even say anything! Not even appreciated! And when I use my ancient arts, they call it shameful! I didn't call the skill backstab! Why am I getting blamed for my heritage?Help me out here, Abby. Ever since Icefrog took away my ward which was my callcard nobody notices me anymore!I just feel so... invisible.-Invisible and Lonely, considering Manta Style for company(alterecho)